UNBELIEVABLE!
It's crazy the kind of world we live in; especially in this part of the world (West Africa). While I don't support the idea of marrying a 'house-wife' or being one, it's obvious (and quite unfortunate) that a lot of people in the society still concur to the idea.I don't even want to ask why women still agree to be house wives because I'll cover that in another blog post. I just want to address the men who marry these women and keep them at home as modern day slaves.
In the beginning, things are usually sweet and rosy but four, five years down the isle, some men become monsters.
NEVER DO THESE TO HER:
One:
Never insult her for being a house wife. Suddenly, you realize she's totally dependent on you financially. She has no means of making her own money and yet, you've refused to setup that business for her. You go on to insult her, saying things like:
"...all you do is stay at home and do nothing."
"You don't contribute to the growth of the family!"
"All you do is eat my money and look for ways to steal from me!"
You yell at her all the time. You now resent her. You call her "useless" and "worthless".
"All you do is stay at home and give birth [to useless children]."
"I buy you clothes, bathing soap, washing soap, pant, bra, everything! Of what use are you?"
You guys may be having a brawl or whatever but saying these things will just kill her self esteem. Words are powerful and sometimes, they hurt the most. No matter the kind of apology you may tender later, something in that lady would have died and no amount of apologies can resurrect it.
Never you make her a full time house wife. You want her to sit at home from morning to morning washing your clothes, cooking your meals, cleaning your apartment, satisfying your sexual urges, bearing children for you. No career for her, no other means of livelihood except you. You want to become her lord, her god, her all. Sir, you are 100% wrong!!! How would you feel if someone did this to your daughter?
You guys may be having a brawl or whatever but saying these things will just kill her self esteem. Words are powerful and sometimes, they hurt the most. No matter the kind of apology you may tender later, something in that lady would have died and no amount of apologies can resurrect it.
Never you make her a full time house wife. You want her to sit at home from morning to morning washing your clothes, cooking your meals, cleaning your apartment, satisfying your sexual urges, bearing children for you. No career for her, no other means of livelihood except you. You want to become her lord, her god, her all. Sir, you are 100% wrong!!! How would you feel if someone did this to your daughter?
If she's not educated, send her to school! If she's not interested in school, start a business for her [no matter how small]. Let her be engaged meaningfully; let her be useful (especially to herself), let her feel alive! She's not your slave. She's not a slave.
Two:
Never monitor her expenses like an auditor: So you gave her #10,000 to go get foodstuff from the nearby market. She just got back and you're asking for a detailed explanation (and proof) of how she spent the money. You're even asking for receipts for the food items purchased. You're heartless. You want her to show you the pepper she claims she bought #300 and your complaining that the tubers of yam she bought isn't worth #3,000 as she claims. She's now a liar and a thief.
Never monitor her expenses like an auditor: So you gave her #10,000 to go get foodstuff from the nearby market. She just got back and you're asking for a detailed explanation (and proof) of how she spent the money. You're even asking for receipts for the food items purchased. You're heartless. You want her to show you the pepper she claims she bought #300 and your complaining that the tubers of yam she bought isn't worth #3,000 as she claims. She's now a liar and a thief.
It's true that you're the breadwinner of the family and she's just a house wife but that gives you no right to treat her like a piece of trash! Even if you suspect foul play, and have reasons to believe that she's mismanaging the money you gave her, there are diplomatic ways to find out and address the issue. She's not your slave, neither is she your house-girl. Quit breaking her spirit.
Three:
Never you beat her:
This is just the height. Everything she does irritates you, you guys quarrel more than you eat in a day (that's more than 3 times daily). You now rue the day you met her, and so you resort to beating her. No woman should undergo such maltreatment. If you are tired of the union, just call it off! Get a divorce instead of using her as a punching bag. What kind of children would you be raising? Children who see daddy insulting and beating mummy.
Never you beat her:
A REAL MAN
Never you ever subject your wife (house wife or not) or any woman to the things listed above.
Real men love and care for their wives. Real men are not wife beaters, and most importantly, real men have the fear of God in them.
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