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4 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO TO YOUR HOUSE-WIFE

UNBELIEVABLE!

It's crazy the kind of world we live in; especially in this part of the world (West Africa). While I  don't support the idea of marrying a 'house-wife' or being one, it's obvious (and quite unfortunate) that a lot of people in the society still concur to the idea.
I don't even want to ask why women still agree to be house wives because I'll cover that in another blog post. I just want to address the men who marry these women and keep them at home as modern day slaves.

Over the years, I've seen women (especially house wives) endure unimaginable hardship in the hands of their husbands. A lot of them have been maltreated and broken emotionally. If your plan is to get a house wife or if you have one already, never do any of the things listed below to her.
In the beginning, things are usually sweet and rosy but four, five years down the isle, some men become monsters.

NEVER DO THESE TO HER:

One:

Never insult her for being a house wife. Suddenly, you realize she's totally dependent on you financially. She has no means of making her own money and yet, you've refused to setup that business for her. You go on to insult her, saying things like: 

"...all you do is stay at home and do nothing."

"You don't contribute to the growth of the family!"

"All you do is eat my money and look for ways to steal from me!"

You yell at her all the time. You now resent her. You call her "useless" and "worthless".

"All you do is stay at home and give birth [to useless children]."

"I buy you clothes, bathing soap, washing soap, pant, bra, everything! Of what use are you?"      

You guys may be having a brawl or whatever  but saying these things will just kill her self esteem. Words are powerful and sometimes, they hurt the most. No matter the kind of apology you may tender later, something in that lady would have died and no amount of apologies can resurrect it.
Never you make her a full time house wife. You want her to sit at home from morning to morning washing your clothes,  cooking your meals, cleaning your apartment, satisfying your sexual urges, bearing children for you. No career for her, no other means of livelihood except you. You want to become her lord, her god, her all. Sir, you are 100% wrong!!! How would you feel if someone did this to your daughter?

Do you want her to look like this Picture? Do you want to break her beyond comprehension and repair?

If she's not educated, send her to school! If she's not interested in school, start a business for her [no matter how small]. Let her be engaged meaningfully; let her be useful (especially to herself), let her feel alive! She's not your slave. She's not a slave.

Two:
Never monitor her expenses like an auditor: So you gave her #10,000 to go get foodstuff from the nearby market. She just got back and you're asking for a detailed explanation (and proof) of how she spent the money. You're even asking for receipts for the food items purchased. You're heartless. You want her to show you the pepper she claims she bought #300 and your complaining that the tubers of yam she bought isn't worth #3,000 as she claims. She's now a liar and a thief.

It's true that you're the breadwinner of the family and she's just a house wife but that gives you no right to treat her like a piece of trash! Even if you suspect foul play, and have reasons to believe that she's  mismanaging the money you gave her, there are diplomatic ways to find out and address the issue. She's not your slave, neither is she your house-girl. Quit breaking her spirit.

Three:
Never you beat her:

This is just the height. Everything  she does irritates you, you guys quarrel more than you eat in a day (that's more than 3 times daily). You now rue the day you met her, and so you resort to beating her. No woman should undergo such maltreatment. If you are tired of the union, just call it off! Get a divorce instead of using her as a punching bag. What kind of children would you be raising? Children who see daddy insulting and beating mummy.

A REAL MAN

Never you ever subject your wife (house wife or not) or any woman to the things listed above.

Real men love and care for their wives. Real men are not wife beaters, and most importantly, real men have the fear of God in them. 

Dealing with sadness

If you're reading this, there's a high chance that you're sad. So what happened? Did he 'break' your heart? Did she disappoint you? Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to guess why you're sad [because I'm not good at "guesser"], I actually want to give you tips to overcome sadness.

PRACTICAL STEPS

• You have to take a conscious decision that you don't want to be sad anymore. This decision matters a lot; if it's not taken, most efforts aimed at cheering you up may fail, while others may succeed only temporally. Make up your mind to live a happy life.

• You guessed it! MUSIC! They say its the food for the soul. It just has a way of making the neurons in your brain fire rightly. Lots of research have shown that 'sad music' (like - someone like you) helps in relieving stress. While this is true, listening to what you love also puts you in the right mood. You can check out some songs that'll tune you up here. So no matter your genre of music, this is one sure way of pulling  yourself out of sadness and depression.

• COOKING: I know it sounds weird but yeah, some persons overcome sadness by preparing a meal. This doesn't work for everyone [obviously], but the entire process of  cooking is fun to some persons; especially when they like the meal. So when next you feel sad, go into the kitchen (if you have one) and cook-up something creative!

• WRITING: Just writing down what's eating you up can pour out all your inner grudge and bitterness. Just so you know, I'm writing this article because I'm sad and this is me trying to deal with it. Don't ask me why I'm sad, just know that you can do same! You can write it all down and post it on Facebook and the likes or just save it for your eyes only.

• CONFRONT THE SITUATION: Sometimes, you just have to do this. You just have to "man-up" to the situation; face it head-on! You shouldn't permit sadness in your life! You deserve to be happy [or don't you???]. Confronting whatever situation that's causing you heartache doesn't just take the pain away, it also gives this inexplicable sense of joy and self worth.

One more thing:

Give yourself time! Tackling sadness/depression can be time consuming, especially when the source of the pain is close-by. Sure, you can take a hike, travel, eat more, hangout more with friends (or strangers). All these will help spark up happiness, but ultimately the 'time factor' can not be overlooked. Time heals all wounds (or so they say); sometimes, you just have to wait for 'time' to work its magic. But while you wait, ensure you're taking steps to fix your emotions; we don't want you to end up with hypertension.

Extreme cases:

So let's say you've tried all of the above - plus more - and you're still as sad as ever, then you may have to  try out some not-so-easy options like yoga, meditation or tai chi (if you have the stomach for it).